Psychological Life and Times
May 22, 2009
Arlington, VA
During today’s session of the Annual Meeting of The American Psychiatric Association, the APA released an early draft of the upcoming Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders V. Most of the proposed changes to the DSM were expected and met with wide acceptance by the APA delegates and the press corps. However, the updates proposed for the Personality Disorders chapter is sure to stir controversy amongst the faithful as the new DSM-V overturns century long definitions of sin and bad behavior by the Catholic Church.
The Chair of the “Old Dogma and New Understandings“ working group of the APA responsible for the draft revisions responded to the controversy by stating “We are a patient focused and science based organization. These antiquated philosophies are merely props hindering the healing journey for our patients. The psychiatric profession will no longer burden our patients with deficient mental schemas of behavior.”
What are the old mental schemas? The old Seven Deadly Sins of course: Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, and Pride. Such terminology will be stricken from the DSM and replaced with new clinical definitions. The revised definitions with accompanying qualifiers will read:
Lust: Carnal Abundance Syndrome
“Loving Yourself and Others with Appropriate Boundaries”
Gluttony: Food Boundary Deficit Disorder
“Learning to live within your girth”
Greed: Ownership Confusion Complex
“Learning to live without the means of others”
Sloth: Ambition Phobia
“How to say “Yes to Success” and “No to napping”
Wrath: Negative Emotion Stimulation Disability
“Anger Management when its someone else’s fault”
Envy: Simplicity Insufficiency
“Learning to internalize “less is more”
Pride: Positive Self Esteem Abundance Disease
“Realizing your full potential in balance with the worth of others who are not as good as you are”
The proposed changes by the APA have already elicited a response by the Catholic Church. A spokesperson for the Vatican, Father, Tony Caprezio, stated that “It is truly shocking, but also a testament to the present reality of living in a culture where no one is responsible for anything anymore.”
The DSM-V is scheduled for a final publication date for May of 2012.
